At some point someone listed my number online, or maybe even in the phonebook under:
Confused about your sexuality? Need confirmation that you are in fact gay? Go on a few dates with this girl.
They must have listed that these confused men could find me at the karaoke bar down the street from my house, because seriously, that is where they find me. It's either that, or something about the amount of Heart that I sing. Maybe singing Heart at karaoke is some sort of almost-gay-dude-code. I'll have to look into this. Or stop singing.
It's just like when I moved to New York and all the crazy people on the subway talked to me all the time until finally my boss said, "You have GOT to work on your bitch-face for when you ride the subway, or this is going to just keep happening to you." Well, needless to say, my bitch-face was perfected by the time I left NY. Now I just have to learn how to make, "No, I don't want to help you with any confusion you may have about your sexuality, because I don't have any confusion about mine." God I hope there's a face for that.
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